Power & Control Wheel

The Power and Control Wheel shows what abuse in a relationship can look like. The wheel shows the ways an abusive partner tries to keep their partner in the relationship. The outside of the wheel are more visible signs, like physical and sexual abuse. While the inside of the wheel are signs that are more difficult to identify. It is important to remember, that often in the early stages of a relationship, the abuse is harder to spot. If you are unsure whether you are in an abusive relationship, the wheel can help you see if your relationship is unhealthy and going in the wrong direction.

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Power & Control Wheel Content

More Visible Signs

Physical and sexual abuse

Less Visible Signs

Using Intimidation:
- Making you afraid by using looks, actions, and gestures
- Smashing things
- Destroying your property
- Abusing pets
- Displaying weapons
Using Emotional Abuse
- Putting you down
- Making you feel bad about yourself
- Calling you names
- Making you think you’re crazy
- Playing mind games
- Humiliating you
- Making you feel guilty
Using Isolation
- Controlling what you do, who you see and talk to, what you read, and where you go
- Limiting your outside involvement
- Using jealousy to justify actions
Minimizing, Denying and Blaming
- Making light of the abuse and not taking your concerns about it seriously
- Saying the abuse didn’t happen
- Shifting responsibility for abusive behaviour
- Saying you caused it
Using Children
- Making you feel guilty about the children
- Using the children to relay messages
- Using visitation to harass you
- Threatening to take the children away
Using Male Privilege
- Treating you like a servant
- Making all the big decisions
- Acting like the “master of the castle”
- Being the one to define men’s and women’s roles
Using Economic Abuse
- Preventing you from getting or keeping a job
- Making you ask for money
- Giving you an allowance
- Taking your money
- Not letting you know about or have access to family income
Using Coercion and Threats
- Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt you
- Threatening to leave you, to commit suicide, or to report you to welfare
- Making you drop charges
- Making you do illegal things

You have a right to feel safe in a relationship that is free from violence and abuse. Remember, you are not alone, and help is available. We are here to support you with whatever step you decide to take.